In My Cousins' Eyes

"Only stupid people do medicine," I said.

Ok, before, you spay spit all over your computer screen, let me clear a few things up. First, I actually, said that. Secondly, no, I have not lost my marbles, and thirdly, I've got to put that statement into context.

As I said earlier, I did actually say those words. It was during a family dinner. But, like I said, those words were taken out of context. Now let me put the words back into context.

N.B. : The names of the people below are from my perspective.

Cousin 1 : You stay in an apartment?
Brother : Yes.
Cousin 2 : Who else stays with you?
Brother : Three other girls.
Aunt : What are they doing?
Brother : Medicine
Cousin 1 : Are they smart?
Me : No, only stupid people do medicine

Now you get the whole picture. Of course, it is at this point where things really get amusing, and where I get a chance to display my cousins stupidity.

Before, I do so, however, let me relate to you what subsequently happened. Firstly, my cousins "wisely" misconstrued it as me saying that people who take up medicine as a profession are stupid. They then attempted to share their "wisdom" with their father, who was seated at another table, along with all the other adults. Unable to get their father's attention, they just proceeded to make noise about it round the table we were on. The commotion they caused gained my mother's attention.

So my mother, requesting an explanation for all the commotion, asked me. And I repeated the phrase,"Only stupid people do medicine", but along with the question preceding it. Then, my cousins said, "He said it again!" gleefully, in an attempt to gain attention. They also tried to say that I was implying that my father was stupid as my father is a doctor. Finally, all the commotion ended with my uncle, my cousins' father, saying that it was all a bunch of "kid talk".
Here's where my fun begins.

Sarcasm sort of runs in the family. Except during certain situations where a hard and fast answer is required, a normally sarcastic response would do the trick better. More caustic responses are also generally the norm when the family is just chit chatting. When the chit chat turns to nonsense, the sarcasm level fly through the roof, and the whole family gets really creative. Sure, there are some people who are non-adherents to this sort of this discussion (my brother, for instance) but the ability to be sarcastic is generally thought to be the norm in my family. As such, the ability to interpret sarcasm is also thought to be the norm.

At least it used to be. After that day, I don't know whether they were unable to interpret sarcasm, which makes them idiots, or were just too thick to notice that it was sarcasm, which makes them plain stupid. However, further interactions with them have shown me that they do understand sarcasm, so their behaviour in that situation, to ignore the sarcasm, was plain stupidity. I'll explain why.

Firstly, most normal people would be able to notice the sarcasm. I myself want to be a doctor, and it is common knowledge that top grades are needed for one to enter any medical program. Failure to do so would mean that either one was naive, or that one just refused to interpret the statement in the situation, which as I said earlier, makes the person stupid.

Secondly, even if I did not mean any sarcasm, only a more foolish person than me would listen to what I said and take my statement as the truth, or as a reflection of my opinion. As some people would say, "Who is stupider; the fool who says something foolish or the fool who follows him?" Of course my cousins would say that the fool is more foolish, but for a person to get fooled by a fool, means that the person in question is more gullible, or more foolish, than the fool.

Finally, they tried to turn the joke on me. Sarcasm often makes people who appreciate it laugh, but some people would attempt to turn the joke on the person who cracked it in the first place. It is one thing to not notice sarcasm; another to attempt to use it in a counterattack. In this case, it backfired. Sure, my cousins had a good time laughing, and I had a horrid time thinking about what my father would say (in the end, he said nothing of it), but one wonders whether they knew the joke was on their inability to not notice sarcasm, or just their plain stupidity.

In my cousins' eyes, my statement was something of a warcry : a chance to defame me, there and then and possibly, in the future, especially if I eventually take up medicine. However, their attempt backfired, and I am sure that I will use their next attempt to do me in to do them in instead.

In My Sister's Eyes.

"So lucky you," my sister said when she found out I had three days off for Deepavali. This was not the first time I had heard the phrase, as she had said those same words when she found out that I was off for PMR week. On this side, however, I was thinking exactly the opposite thing, as I wanted to go back to school.

For my sister, holidays meant no school. One could get up whenever one liked, do work whenever one liked, and sleep whenever one liked. There would be no homework to do from school, no rush to make sure that one is on time for school and there would be access to the television, ASTRO and potentially the computer.

For her, there was nothing more fun than no school. It meant freedom from the system, to do anything one wanted. Sure, it meant no seeing friends and the like, but what can be more fun than just relaxing the whole day for an eight year old?

On top of all this, she hadn't had the entire UPSR week off, unlike me, who had the entire PMR week, plus an extra day. Chinese medium school typically take the ninth day of Chinese New Year or the fifteenth day of Chinese New Year and the fifteenth day of the eighth lunar month off (Ninth day of Chinese New Year : Bai Tien Gong, or Birthday of the Jade Emperor. Fifteenth day of Chinese New Year : Chap Goh Mei. Fifteenth day of the eighth lunar month : Mooncake Festival). Thus, she had already had had her days off, but three days at once is nothing like three days by themselves. A stretch meant that the argument for more privileges is stronger, as one may say that the day when one has to return to school is much later, and thus, the number of days one may get distracted may be increased.

For me, however, I just wanted to go back to school. Form 6, as it already is, is hard enough. I can study at home, but in school, there are teachers who can (and normally do) teach something new. Then, there are my classmates, who remind me of the need to study. Going to school meant that I would gain knowledge about something I didn't already have knowledge about, improve my technique when it comes to answering questions and also allow me to practise what I already knew. Unlike what I should be doing, I don't practise much at home, so when there are "small tests" at school, STPM conditions are stimulated : the type of questions, the environment, the time pressure. Everything. Well, almost everything.

Then, of course, is the fact that I had already taken too many days off. There was the PMR week (as I mentioned earlier) and a week before that, there was the mid-term break. Then there was my Deepavali holiday. If you ask me, there were just too many holidays, too close to the exam. I wanted to go back to school to practise, to learn, maybe pick up some tips along the way. Unlike most people, I don't go for tuition at all. As such, the school is the only place I get my formal education, and my only source of STPM compliant questions.

Even amongst my friends who do go for tuition, the common consensus was that they wanted to go back to school instead of just studying at home. We could practice doing biology questions in school, discuss past year chemistry papers in school and practice doing maths in school. My batch is on the small side, so the dynamics might be different, but so far, the attendance has been good, due partly to the fact that something is done in school and that there is a computer in the class which is more often than not, misused.

Now, however, attendance is no longer taken (we are considered on study leave), so I expect that the number of Upper Sixers going to school will drop accordingly. I still hope that some people turn up, but from my experience of group study, more often that not, the studying will be everything but that in the STPM syllabus. Probably with fewer people, I will finally find the nerve to ask my teachers some questions and get some answers , without having to fight with my classmates for time.

But I digress. Going back to the original topic, I think it is really up to one's view when one thinks about holidays. In my sister's eyes, it is a chance to rest and relax, with academic pursuits put away temporarily. In most of the average student's eyes, it is a chance to study, unhindered by the wants of their teachers. In my eyes and those of a select few, however, holidays are a hindrance for further learning.

Second block

First block, done (finally)

Now is to make time to do half a dozen...

By the way the second block is : Eyes

Enjoy

Part of Their World

All my life, I have been attempting to break into cliques. Maybe not so much in primary school, where I had a regular group of friends. But once I stepped into secondary school, I found myself breaking into one clique, and then another. Eventually, I found my own clique, but as it was not in all the activities I was involved in, I still had to break into cliques. That was for starters, for cliques are everywhere, even in church.

For once, my church decided to have its end of year camp concurrent with the YLDP, a camp held at the national level (not including East Malaysia). This resulted in me being the only person who went to YLDP from my church, so I found myself breaking into cliques. Eventually I found one, but I have to say, everyone sticks with their own cliques at the start of camp and dissociates to their own cliques at the end of camp. So I resorted to doing a Hari Seldon : watch people, observe group dynamics and figure out how to derive an equation from there. I have been doing that every time I find myself with nothing to do nowadays.

Going back to school, my own clique was broken up after SPM. One went to Matrikulasi, one to A-levels, one to UTAR and of course one to Form 6. Speaking of Form 6, I find myself having to break into cliques, again. Only this time, I failed to do so early enough, or rather mixed with the group which left. Thus, I went back to my old practice of observing people. However, when you are a Sixth Former who volunteers to be on the Editorial Board, you don't have much time. Needless to say, I don't miss having clique.

Except when it comes to class discussions.

Finding myself on the outside again is disheartening, to say the least. It gets even more annoying when people say you are eavesdropping conversations conducted in "plain sight". If one converses about something potentially sensitive in an open space with people who have clearance to be there, they have the privilege of hearing everything said, whether one consents to it or not. Only conversations held behind closed doors are private, and anyone who eavesdrops is violating your privacy. To have people say "Nothing!" or "Ta tou ting" (he's eavesdropping) makes me cringe. Worse than that, to find people changing their dialect of choice to ensure I don't find out what they are saying makes my blood boil. What bothers me is not how much I don't know, its when I find out.

To find you are right at the end of the grapevine since you don't associate with the right people at the right time or because you are not "cool" enough might not be a familiar concept to many people. I mean, how many ends of a grapevine can there be? Being kept out of conversations intentionally, finding out when the entire class already knows and finding one's head trodden over is not something one expects to getting used to. I have found it annoying, to say the least. One might suggest breaking into the cliques, again, but with Form 6 ending it really does not matter that much. Besides, these are cliques we are talking about, and the one common denominator of cliques is that they don't let anyone in, no matter how hard he or he tries.

I only ever wanted to be in the know, or maybe form part of their world. School isn't only about academic excellence and co-curricular activities - its where we network, learn about people and learn social skills. One might say STPM is "Sijil Tinggi Persekolahan Malaysia" not "Sijil Tinggi Persembangan Malaysia", but the fact is, all humans, regardless of academic capability, need some form of social life.

Obviously, people keep knowledge to themselves - and their friends - and for good reason too. Some things are just too sensitive out in the open, and one wants to have a hand in when letting people in on these things. Besides, knowledge is power. But it hurts when the people you treat as friends, don't return the favour. I found out the hard way about friends and acquaintances. Don't ask how, the other party was thoughtful enough to keep it discreet, but from that day on, I kept a running list of friends, acquaintances and those who I think consider friends but who I hope consider me a friend. I have to say it is more wishful thinking than anything else. Friendship is a two way thing. Maybe I should rephrase that : Relationships are two way things. As such, I have a small group of friends, as few reciprocate, but many, many acquaintances. Trouble is figuring out who considers me their friend, and who their acquaintance.

I always considered my classmates my friends. This was even when my class was big, 40-odd. Even when I join any institution which is starting up, with no previous associations, I still do so. Call it an old habit. Now imagine that after bonding for a year, considering them friends not because you are in the same class, but because you have gotten to know these people and then, find yourself being shut out from a conversation.

Again and again.

And when you do try to listen in, they point fingers and yell "Eavesdropper!".

Or change the topic.

Or use a different dialect.

All on purpose, obviously.

To keep you out of the know.

Because you aren't part of their clique.

Even though you consider them friends.

I get this feeling I'm betrayed every time this happens. When the people you trust to entrust you with information refuse to do so, and instead entrust others with the information you seek it, it hurts. As trust is reciprocal, how then do I know who to trust my secrets with? I know no one who will keep their mouths shut, but I know many who will blab whatever secrets I tell them the second they find out.

Well, I guess "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you might find, you get what you need."

What I need, I already have. As to what my traitorous, trust-destroying, cliquish, ungrateful "friends" need....well let's just say that they should have seen it coming.

*The writer would like to inform that this applies to all people who either intentionally or unintentionally keep him out of the know. Rest be assured, when your time comes to get...err..cooked, you will be as I like my steak - well done.

Out of This World.

There is a fictional series based on the book of Revelations in the Bible. The series is called Left Behind. Apparently there are seven books, and there have been three movies. The writer of the series is currently having a dispute with the producers of the movies, so the forth one has not come out yet, but that's not the purpose of this post.

As I said before, the movies are based on the book of Revelations, which chronicles the Armageddon and the second coming of Christ. Here's the best part : The third movie, Left Behind : World At War was shown on AXN. Uncensored. I'm serious.

When I first saw the advertisements for the movie on AXN, I thought it would be an action packed show, with lots of action. When I finally got around to seeing it, I wasn't disappointed, until I got to the point where a number of protagonists were having a Christian marriage in a run-down church, reciting verses from the Bible more times than I have seen on national television in my entire life.

I thought they were using it just as a front, or as a storytelling tool, but as every time religion is used as a storytelling tool, the results are not pretty, I begun to be unimpressed. I just kept watching to find out what the movie producers' intentions were, but then it turned out they were trying to evangelise after all. Who uses verses of the Bible so generously and tries to convert the President of the United Sates if the use of religion is only as a storytelling tool?

But the most impressive part was that the Censorship Board missed the whole load of it. Why? This movie was designed to evangelise, and evangelising to Muslims in the country is banned. Needless to say, everyone with ASTRO has AXN and at least half those people are Muslims. Looks like the once mighty Censorship Board is either getting sloppy or the message was just so out of this world they could not get a hold of it.

Going back to the movie, (Warning : Spoilers ahead) it chronicles the arrival of the antichrist, who tried ( with respect to the movie) to overtake the world. The US president, UK Prime Minister and Egypt President, realising what he was up to, decided to overthrow him. However, their plan failed as the antichrist managed to get hold of their plans and attack them first. Thus, chaos erupts and World War 3 starts.

At the same time it also chronicles the lives of two newly wed couples, one elderly and one not so elderly, the groom of the elderly one being the father of the bride of the younger one. Then, the members of the underground churches start falling ill. The bride of the younger couple goes to help the sick, but ends up ill as well. The preacher who wedded them is ill as well.

Meanwhile, the President of the US manages to track down the groom of the younger couple, and starts to confer with him. The President then finds out that the people are getting sick due to Bibles poisoned with a toxin before being shipped out. The groom has a hard time deciding whether to stay or help his wife, and decides to pray to figure out which decision to make. He then decides to stay. The older couple then go to see their dying daughter.

The groom of the younger bride then goes to see the President, evangelise to him, and convert him. The President then decides to blow apart the antichrist's base of operations, and at the same time, the rest of the family find out that red wine was the cure to the toxin in the Bibles, but not before the preacher succumbed to the disease.

Obviously, certain events and characters were not included in this synopsis of the movie, but you get the general picture. Few movies show the evangelising of people, or of praying in groups or of the usage of Holy Communion more vividly, or more accurately than this movie.

Speaking of Holy Communion, on the surface, in the movie it is used to heal people who are infected with the toxin. In real life, it represents the blood of Chirist, which washes away all the sins of the world. So there is probably more to this movie than just what's on the surface.

Watching the movie was an out of this world experience. Why? How many movies do you see that portray Christianity in a good light? Or which take excerpts form the Bible and use them accurately? Or slip under the Censorship Board's noses when it clearly breaks all the rules they have set? Few, but I know that if I am requested to suggest a movie for evangelistic purposes, I know one which will go down well with the audience.

Things of This World

Everyday, we work. It does not make any difference whether we are studying or are working for a boss, we are working towards a goal. And our goal is : to make money. Of course, we need money - that cannot be denied. Money is a medium of exchange to every person : even though it is only just a piece of paper, made such that it is hard to duplicate. However, sometimes, even the best of us get our priorities wrong. We store up on things of this world, as if there is no tomorrow.

Don't get me wrong. There is a need to make sure we have enough food, water, clothes and other creature comforts, but more than that, we should not only focus on things of this world. Let me give you three reasons.

Firstly, we can take nothing out of this world. As we came into this world, so, too, shall we leave it : taking nothing with us. No matter what we do, everything of this world will stay here. People have tried to take things out of this world when they die. However, no one has succeeded so far. The artifacts in tombs of ancient civilisations is a testament to this.

Secondly, things of this world are temporary. Metals oxidise and lose their glitter. Diamonds, the metastable (unstable) form of carbon, slowly change to graphite over millions of years. Cloths and other good looking organic based materials do not last forever, as they can be damaged by the weather, pests and other insidious agents. Thieves may come in the night and steal our belongings.

Another reason why we should not worry too much about the things of this world is that we won't be judged by our wealth, but by our riches in heaven. No amount of wealth is going to buy us a place in heaven, especially if we have not been faithful to God in life. Wealth is a legal human desire, but it should not be a goal. We need to look beyond this life for a goal. If our goal were to make as much money as we could, we would never be happy as we would be forever poorer than someone else.

Instead, we should focus on the things of the next world, and store up our treasures in heaven. There, moths, rust and other free radical reactions do not destroy and the thief cannot steal. Our treasure there is always there, and is one of the things which we may take with us out of this world.

In our rat race, whatever and wherever we may be, we should not forget to keep our eyes on the bigger picture : God.

A World of Our Own

The USJ area has a number of secondary schools. The schools are, in no particular order, Seafield, USJ 4, 8, 12, 13 and 22. Assuming there are 200 students in every graduating class of Form 5, that would be 1200 students. Of course, there are a lot more than that, but then again, I don't have the student breakdown of all the schools. Nevertheless, out of this 1200 odd-students only 79 are currently finishing their Form 6. Assuming half of the people have about as much chance as getting into Matrikulasi as they do of striking Berjaya Toto's 4D first prize once in their lifetime (I know I am making a lot of assumptions, but please bear with me), that would mean that 2 out of 15 people went to Form 6. Needless to say, we are an extremely small proportion of the number of students who did SPM in our year.

While most of our peers are busy wondering what to wear each day, we have no choice : uniforms, just that we get to pull off our old tricks, again. But being in Form 6 does not only mean that your wardrobe is not shown to your fellow classmates daily, it also means that we miss out on a lot of other things which people who go to college pick up. For starters, cocurricular activities. In Form 6, just like in school, even if we hold positions, we have a teacher or two watching our backs all the time to ensure we don't mess up, or that if we do, we don't mess up too badly. In college, however, as I understand it, we are on our own whenever we plan or execute any activity.

Another thing we miss out on : the freedom to go wherever we like and to leave whenever we want to. Sixth Formers might be above the age of 17, but that does not mean that we are not bound by certain school rules, such as the restriction against handphones (depending on which school you get sent to) and the freedom to leave and arrive whenever we like (especially when we know the teacher is not around).

Just as we miss out on independence, we also miss out on a lot of responsibility. As I mentioned earlier, our cocurricular activities are still overseen by teachers, and rather stringently, while I am at it. Other things such as the responsibility to use facilities such as the Internet provided by a college responsibly or to make sure we pay our rent on time are also taken out from our hands, mainly because most people who do Form 6 are either in normal schools, or are boarders, while there is no Internet in school.

But the one thing we miss out most on is social interaction with our peers who go to college. Most of the "happening" and/or "cool" people go to college. Conversely, the opposite is also true : Most "happening" and/or "cool" people do not go to Form 6. To ensure I do not infuriate anyone more than I already have, I shall just say that these people are highly connected socially. As I mentioned earlier, only a small minority of the people who do SPM do do Form 6. As such, it is hard to keep track of your contacts, especially if you don't have any reason to interact with them on a regular basis. You might even say that we live in a world of our own.

As the number of people who go into college is more than those who go into Form 6, the probability a college student ends up in the proximity of someone who is highly connected socially and who considers the person in question worthy of receiving information is relatively high compared to a Sixth Former. This probability is also directly proportional to the size of your last major clique in Form 5 - the larger your clique, the higher the probability of you ending up in the know. So if you have a small clique, are not close to the people who are in the know and end up in Form 6, with none of your clique members with you (like yours truly) you truly end up living in a world of your own. Contrast this to if you were in college : if there was a reunion, and someone in the college found out, there is a higher probability you would find out too as there are more people in college and the probability that someone finds out and considers you worthy of receiving such information would also be higher.

This is not to say that Sixth Formers do not interact with our contemporaries who are not doing Form 6 at all. In fact, some people do Form 6 and are still able to end up in the know. However, like I said earlier, this all depends on the size of your last clique.

Form 6 is like living in a small world of your own - most of your contemporaries won't go there, you won't be exposed to the big, wide world and are still protected by your teachers. However, this does not mean one will lose touch with one's peers if one does Form 6 - with the advancement of modern technologies, your friend is just a click/call/SMS/MMS away.

Now if someone would keep me in the know....