Communities

Teenage years are one of the most interesting for a normal human being. We get more responsibilities, freedom and learn more things than before, yet not as much as we get when we get older. We don’t have to worry about what we are going to eat when we get home, but we can determine when we want to go home. We get to drive a car, yet don’t have to worry about its mortgage. We learn more than we would at any other time of our life.

All this learning is possible because of the creation of institutions called schools, colleges and universities. Okay, most of the fun is while we are in the first two institutions, not to mention the fact I haven’t started university yet, however, the responsibilities freedoms, etc. are pretty similar in all three.

One of the common features of all three institutions is that apart from making our brains expand due to overwork (or meltdown due to too much overwork) is that there are communities formed when we are there. That’s what makes it fun. While the buildings maybe decaying, the course tiring, the coursework tedious and the lecturers demanding, our classmates are what makes it fun. Yes, we do get a piece of paper after that, saying that we completed the course, however, completing it on our own is absolutely no fun.

And while we are on the topic of coursemates/classmates, they are the ones we hang out with when we want to go yum cha, or watch a movie, or when we want to have an outing to some unknown part of the country. When we want to do something crazy, they’ll be right there with us. They are always there, and will let you in on anything because they are your mates, right?

For most people, this is true. To varying extents, no doubt, but it is true.

Yours truly seems to have gotten the shorter end of the stick.

Ok, ok, so I get it – after school is done, doesn’t matter whether it’s six weeks long, or six years long, the interactions change from those of need to those of preference. In school, we ask people because we need something from them, but more than that, it’s also because we’re stuck in the same room more than six hours a day for a reasonably long period of time. So might as well make some chit chat while we’re at it.

When school’s out, well, we aren’t stuck in the same room for more than six hours a day and we can jolly well do whatever we want whenever we want, or rather, in this case, we can talk to whoever we want.

The organization which placed us together (or in some cases, dumped us together) in the first place is no longer in existence, so there is no longer any reason to keep the bonds which bind us for the sole reason we used to spend more so much time together, right?

I’m tempted to give in, but I won’t.

Why?

For the same reason why I don’t write everyone off when the organization has finished running its course.

I consider all my classmates equally. Ok, maybe some more equally than others, but with regards to who to stay in touch with and how much time to spend keeping in touch, I don’t discriminate. If I get a chance, I wouldn’t think twice. Given half a chance, I would find a way to expand the probability to a one.

So you can imagine I’m not impressed when I find out that I’m the last on the list to find out about anything going down.

In fact, to say I’m not impressed is an extremely diplomatic way of saying it. The correct words to describe my emotions, whenever I find out, are not currently available to me, as I have no intention of turning my blog into a profanity-heavy site.

So, what should I do? Should I continue hoping, waiting, looking forward to the day when my phone will finally ring or buzz, and I’ll find that someone is looking forward to meeting up with me?

I’m tired. No, seriously. I’m tired. It doesn’t matter whether I write this on multiple days at 4 in the morning, or whether I write this at one shot at some not so unearthly hour. I’m tired of waiting, of hoping, of expecting for a phone call or SMS, or even just a verbal invitation which never seems to come.

So, should I cut ties? Seems like an inviting prospect.

I expect a certain amount of communication in my relationships. Again, I don’t find it amusing when I find that I have to dig up every single bit from anyone I’m talking to. No one likes doing that. Well, I don’t, especially. It shows when you have to dig up every single bit of information. Normally when one does that, one is desperate. It also means that no one is sharing information with the person in question, which in turn means that he or she isn’t deemed important in the relationship.

Couple that with the expectation of the person in question, you get a problem. Well, one may say that isn’t a problem, as the relationship doesn’t exist in the first place. Only one person holds the other in such high regard, and the other doesn’t reciprocate, at least for the same reasons as the former.

So cutting ties does seem to be a viable option for me. I consider that the opposing party should have at least the decency to keep me in the know. If they can’t even be bothered to do so, I don’t know why I keep a relationship which has deteriorated so poorly in such high regard.

What does one do with the people marginalized by society, or rather, in this case, marginalized by the community? If you’re a Christian, and you terasa sampai buntut, I won’t start. You know where to look, and if you don’t you’d better be ready for a lecture in Bible Knowledge.

However, to humans in general, this is my question to you: What do you do with the outcasts, the poor, the downtrodden, the needy? Do you push them away, ignore them, keep them out of the loop?

You decide.