Don't so emo can ah?

metimes, I wish we were all Vulcans. No emotions to worry about, or rather, we learn to control our emotions totally, so that we don’t get so caught up in our emotions such that we end up in a mess. This would have been especially useful during the STPM period last year, for a variety of reasons. There’s of course, exam anxiety and stress…and then there’s some more.

However, as is my blog policy (har har har) I realize that this is a public place and as such, the other reasons for me wanting to be a Vulcan won’t be posted here in public. I have shared it with four people so far, though the number was supposed to be twenty seven, but due to cold feet, it’s only four. Like I said, it’s not for public display, and no matter how tempted I am to publish it, I won’t. That and the fact that I have been informed that people’s perception of me would be radically changed if they found out. Whether that’s for the better or the worse, it doesn’t really matter; it’s not coming out.

But I digress…

Emotions are our mind’s data panel, or dashboard if you will. It lets us know when something is right, or more importantly, wrong. But that is about all it can give us; extra information for us to make a decision. However, our emotions are sometimes gives us the wrong signals. This does not mean they are wrong, it simply means that the emotions we are feeling may not give us the right information to help us decide the right course of action.

Sure, our emotions can sometimes cause us to make bad decisions or cloud our judgment but that doesn’t mean we should ignore them altogether. Rage can cause us to indulge in destructive behavior, jealousy in ultrapossessive behavior and extreme euphoria can cause us to do stupid things. Emotions may cause us to let our guard down, lull us into a false sense of security, or give us the impulse to make decisions which we may regret later.

However, emotions let us know when something is wrong as well. We get suspicious around fishy characters, feel righteous anger when we see injustice and feel pity for people in need. When these emotions kick in, we use all the information we have on hand to make the correct decision to correct the imbalance in our emotions, with our emotions playing a role as well. On top of that, we do this to ease our conscience.

The trick here is not letting our decisions do the talking, but instead to let them in only so far as to guide our next move, and not more than that. Of course, talking about mastering emotions is one thing; actually doing it is another.

What makes it harder, for males at least, is that we grow older later, as well as the fact that we have higher hormonal secretions. As males enter puberty later, we mature later, both physically and mentally. While associated hormonal secretions are probably the same for males and females, males get theirs at the worst possible time.

Before the mind has fully matured, but while the body is maturing, in the presence of peers edging one on, it comes. Yes people, its testosterone, as well as epinephrine.

Of course, that’s when they are edging you on and you’re about to do something brave, stupid or foolish; or maybe a combination of all three.

When one is down, however, one finds one’s world crashing in on oneself. We feel that we have been betrayed, when others might only see it as a minor oversight. We feel that we deserve better, when others feel that we have been given too much. We feel that we have the right to claim something from them, while they feel that they owe us nothing.

And when we are down, we experience this emotion, which in Malaysia is simply called ‘emo”. I guess the full word would be emotional, but then again, I didn’t coin the term up.

A friend of mine is of the opinion that “emo is just an excuse for a guy to act as a girl”. Well, if girls can do what guys can, namely, be boss of an office, breadwinner for a family, or get ragged during orientation, than why can’t guys do what girls do? Okay, let’s not get all biological about this, but let’s face it; all people have emotions. It doesn’t matter whether we are male or female. We all have emotions. We all get emo. At least, sometimes we do.

So when all is said and done, we still need to master our emotions. Most of the time, we recite to ourselves one-liners and other assorted lines which we memorize so that when the situation arises, we are able to get ourselves under control. This works, most of the time.

However, when we are feeling emo, and we have no one to turn to, no one to talk to, and we have not been through this situation, or a similar one before, what do we do? We basically have one of two choices: we either lock ourselves in a room, shy away from human contact, look all tired and hide away.

Or we can push forward; realizing that shying and staying away does nothing for anyone, we try to get what others “owe” us, and we get what we need. Sure, this sounds mercenary, but did you search out friends to be all alone and by yourself? No, we connect, and when we feel something is wrong, we do something about it, instead of just hanging around waiting for the situation to change.

Sure, all of us, male and female, end up emo. The question is what do we do next?

Do we make a move?

Or do we remain emo?